My fellow Americans,
Some of the greatest talents in the country are undiscovered. But did you know that some of the greatest talents are in the GOP and/or Bush administration? Help us discover these unsung heroes and shatter the myth that liberals are the only creative ones. We would be remiss if we didn’t take the time to honor the unsung artistic heroes of the outgoing Bush administration and outgoing GOP. And because the GOP is all about counting (certain) votes, Republican Idol counts on your civic participation. You get to vote for the nominees. (All ties will be brought to a supreme artistic council made up of impartial judges like Kid Rock, Kelsey Grammar, Drew Carey, Victoria Jackson, Patricia Heaton, and Hick Hop idol Cowboy Troy.)
The kick off category is Outstanding Artistic Achievement in Interpretive Dance. And the nominees are….
1) For use of props* (cell phone and wallet) and interpretive dance in capturing gangsta culture…Karl Rove for his performance of the MC Rove, at the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association dinner. Special Mention to David Gregory for his “white man’s snap & sway,” which, in addition to being a great move in itself, served as a foil to MC Rove’s urban moves.
* for which we give him “mad props, yo.”
2) For embodying The Village People’s construction worker…Colin Powell for his performance at the Association of South East Asian Nations (Asean) dinner and his “SOS** Soulful Step Touch” and the “Colin Conga Line” moves. NOTE: Mr. Colin is NOT nominated for his singing or musical abilities.
** Secretary of State
3) For his spontaneity and improvisational skills…George W. Bush for his role in “You’re not going like that: a Malaria Day Dance” performed on the White House lawn, featuring generic ethnic African moves and a drum solo. Honorable Mention to Laura Bush.
So vote early and often for America’s next top Republican Idol. And get out the vote by forwarding this to your friends.