I must seem very rude but it’s just that my legs don’t do much anymore. A few more cigarettes, doc says, and we’ll all be sorry! Believe an egg sucking soldier when she tells you this shit works out! I eat freezer pizza and freezer corn and watch Jim and Pam. Anything else you’d like me to explain, to connect, to supply, and I’ll have to be getting back to my show. It’s more lively, you see, when something has to come out that’s unexpected. Start with the theory you’re trying to illustrate and then you can make anything you want from the numbers. We’re powerful, totally strange, sick creatures; and yet you’d really appreciate it if I used my legs.

Painting by Anthony Cudahy.

Lauren Spohrer

Lauren Spohrer has fiction published or forthcoming in the Mississippi Review, NOON, McSweeney’s, Unsaid, Ben Marcus’ Smallwork, Everyday Genius, GIGANTIC, Failbetter, and The Reprint. A chapbook, Just Kids, is forthcoming from Agnes Fox Press.

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